Sue Scheff: Teenage Girl Power

Debra Beck, a mentor for teens and author, has created a wonderful and engaging website to help parents of today's young teen girls.

Her book, My Feet Aren't Ugly, offers tools and information to help you help your child build their self esteem and feel good about who they are.

About Debra:

For fifteen years, Debra Beck has done workshops with Girl Power, a program sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that is dedicated to helping “encourage and motivate eleven- to sixteen-year-old girls to make the most of their lives.” Her book "My Feet Aren't Ugly" will resonate with teenage girls and their parents equally for its sound advice and helpful suggestions, based on the author's own experiences.

Learn more at her website at http://www.myfeetarentugly.com/

One of her artcles:

Are We Training Teenage Girls To Be Great Deceivers?

by Debra Beck

I read all these articles about keeping a close eye on our teens, to make sure they aren’t making any bad decisions and they are safe. I listen to parents discussing the same issues. How close is too close and what are we teaching our teens, without even knowing it? We read her journal, get on to her My Space account, and listen in on her private telephone calls. Are we sending a message that we care or are we sending a message that we don’t trust our kids?

There's a fine line between trusting your teenage girls and staying attentive to their safety
The first thing you are teaching her is that honoring some one’s privacy isn’t that big of a deal, if you really need to know something. You are also teaching her how to become an expert liar and a good deceiver.

She will learn how to become really sneaky, because the more she knows you are doing these things, the better she will get at learning how to hide them from you. When you push up against something or someone, there is no choice but to get stronger. That’s the way things work. If you are protesting something, the side that is being protested has to get stronger to stay alive. We don’t want to help our teen practice these behaviors. We want to help them make good decisions for themselves.

To trust our teens, we must first understand thatthey are teens, and honor their privacy.
Give them the room to be teens, and give them the guidance to learn how to become responsible adults. These teenage years are the years that they are starting to pull away, testing their own boundaries. Don’t push them away more by being a parent that expects them not to be a teen, and will do anything to make sure that they are not behaving like one.

Be a good role model to your teenage girl: you wouldn't want her peeking in on your private life. Don't peek in on hers either.

Looking at their journal, checking their My Space account and any other sneaky behaviors will push them away from you. Then they are on their own to make decisions which they may not be capable of making. To be available for them you have to understand them and respect them. Just because they are younger doesn’t mean they do not deserve to be respected. We need to help them to become adults who make good decisions for themselves.

By respecting them we help them become respectful adults as well. We want to set a good example, through being a good role model, so decide next time before you peek in places your teen might prefer you didn’t what kind of role model you want to be? Ultimately this will be more valuable than anything you could come across.

Sue Scheff - Underage Drinking

Thousands of alcohol-related automobile accidents occur every year, and teens have higher than average alcohol-related injuries and deaths when compared to other age groups. Alcohol-related crashes are the second leading cause of teen death. McDivitt Law Firm invites local high school students to create unique and compelling PSAs that encourage fellow teens to abstain from underage drinking and/or the dangers of drinking and driving.

Thousands of alcohol-related automobile accidents occur every year, and teens have higher than average alcohol-related injuries and deaths when compared to other age groups. Alcohol-related crashes are the second leading cause of teen death. McDivitt Law Firm invites local high school students to create unique and compelling PSAs that encourage fellow teens to abstain from underage drinking and/or the dangers of drinking and driving.

Find out how to win a Mac Computer!

Click here and scroll down - http://www.mcdivittlaw.com/psa-contest-2009.php - this is a great opportunity for High School Students!

Sue Scheff: Raising Teens Together

Is your teen pushing your buttons?
Not sure how to handle it?

We're here to help you make the most of your relationship, stay ahead of the game and find common ground with your teenager. Shoulder to Shoulder is dedicated to making your job easier by connecting parents and caregivers and sharing the insights of those who have been there before. From written resources and a Blog for parents of teens to relevant research and parenting tips, we hope you find our resources useful as you navigate the teen years with your child.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens and Inhalant Abuse

As the new year has started, parents need to become more educated and informed about today's teens and the issues they face.

Many parents know about substance abuse, and teach our kids to say no to drugs - but do you know about Inhalants? Ordinary household items that can be lethal to teens looking for a quick and inexpensive high? More importantly, sometimes deadly high.

Parent learn more about Inhalant Abuse.

Here is a great "talking tips" page from The Alliance for Consumer Education (ACE) - take the time to learn more today. You could save a child's life.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teens and Eating Disorders

As the holidays are here, parents should be aware of their teens and tweens concerns with body image. Today’s peer pressure compounded with Internet Images of what a teen should look like, can add stress and frustration to a young teen (both girls and boys).

Eating Disorders can sometimes be hard to recognize. As a parent, it is important to be informed and know the warning signs.

Here is a great article from Connect with Kids from this week’s parenting articles and tips:
“I would never want to look at one. I think that would be really depressing to tell you the truth.”
– Mary Hardin, 14 years old

What Mary doesn’t want to see, to millions others is just a few key words and mouse clicks away.
“Who’s the skinniest and how can they stay the skinniest (or) here’s how you can have only one thing to eat all day or how you can survive on water and gum,” explains Bryna Livingston, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in eating disorders.

Livingston is referring to pro-anorexia websites – where girls are applauded for losing weight and surviving hunger – that are emerging on the Internet. On many such sites, anorexics journal thoughts and feelings and even post pictures of their thin celebrity idols.

“It’s a pseudo-support group, and the problem is you’re not really getting support,” says Livingston. “You’re feeding a competition. You’re feeding a disease, and you’re feeding what you want to hear so you don’t have to make any changes.”

For Mary Hardin, change was hard. She struggled with anorexia for three years. These websites, she says, spell danger. “I think (the websites) could have really made me worse and (made me) fall more into my eating disorder and encouraged me more,” she says. “That’s the last thing I needed was to be encouraged to be in an eating disorder.”

Experts say parents of anorexics have to show tough love, especially if their child is being enticed by these Internet sites. “I’d turn off the computer. I’d get it out of the house,” says Livingston.
Mary’s advice: “Listen to who you trust. Do you trust your family and your friends, or do you trust these people (on the Internet) that you don’t even know that are trying to give you lessons about your life?”

Luckily, Mary avoided the lure of anorexia websites when she was struggling with her illness. After years of therapy and family support, she says she is now healed. “It is possible to recover and to be a healthy girl with a happy life after it all,” she says. “There is hope to get through it.”

Tips for Parents

Many dangerous places exist in cyberspace, especially for those with body image difficulties. A quick, easy Google search can produce a long list of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites – places where those who suffer from eating disorders (ED) support each other and establish a sense of community. There are at least 100 active pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia sites. Some statistics state that several of these sites have accumulated tens of thousands of hits. Many sites treat eating disorders as lifestyle choices, rather than the illnesses they truly are. Most personify anorexia (“Ana”) and bulimia (“Mia”) into companions – individuals one can look to for guidance and strength.

The medical community classifies eating disorders as mental illnesses. Experts say girls with eating disorders focus on their bodies in a misguided bid to resolve deeper psychological issues, believing that they can fix their inner troubles by achieving a perfect outside. Eating disorder specialists say pro-anorexia sites are particularly dangerous since those suffering from the disease are usually in deep denial and cling to the illness to avoid dealing with its psychological underpinnings. Websites that glorify eating disorders make treatment increasingly difficult.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

There are an estimated 7 million females and 1 million males suffering from eating disorders in the United States.

The Harvard Eating Disorders Center estimates that 3 percent of adolescent women and girls have anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders.

Four-of-five 13-year-old girls have attempted to lose weight.

One study showed that 42 percent of first- through third-grade girls want to be thinner.
About 1 percent of females between 10 and 20 have anorexia nervosa. Between 2 percent and 3 percent of young women develop bulimia nervosa. Almost half of all anorexics will develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.Without treatment, up to 20 percent of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, the mortality rate falls to 2 to 3 percent. The recovery rate with treatment is about 60 percent. Alas, only 10 percent of those with eating disorders receive treatment.

Pro-ED sites are just one reason why parents need to monitor children’s online behavior. In the web journals or logs (blogs) of these sites, users share near-starvation diets, offer tips for coping with hunger and detail ways to avoid the suspicions of family members.

They post “thinspiration” – images from the media of their ideal celebrities, such as supermodel Kate Moss and the Olsen twins. They discuss extreme calorie restriction and weight loss through laxatives, diet pills and purging (self-induced vomiting).

Between the ages of 8 and 14, females naturally gain at least 40 pounds.

More than half of teenage girls are – or think they should be – on diets.

Websites were changing the very culture surrounding eating disorders, making them more acceptable to girls on and off the Internet.

Pro-ED sites thrive off the denial aspect of the illnesses while promoting the perceived benefits of having an eating disorder.

References

Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
Harvard Eating Disorders Center
The National Institute of Mental Health
Reuters
Socialist Voice of Women
South Carolina Department of Mental Health

I also recommend you visit a survivor of Eating Disorders, Lori Hanson’s website at http://www.lori-hanson.com/ and check out her book, It All Started with Pop-Tarts.

Sue Scheff - Parenting tips

Sue Scheff – Founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and Author of Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-Of-Control Teen
Offers 10 Parenting Quick Tips


1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.

2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.


3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.

4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.


5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild to further help protect their children online.

6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes, ASPCA, Humane Society or places where they are giving to others or helping animals. It can truly build self esteem to help others.


7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.

8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.


9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! for more information.

10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.

Parents Universal Resource Experst - Sue Scheff: PE4Life - Parenting

Parents are busy with a full workday, helping their children with homework, engaging their children in after school activities, and so on. This doesn't leave a whole lot of time for physical activity in your own lives. Do you realize that schools have devalued and cut physical education to the point that the majority of children get one day of PE per week? Children today have a shorter life expectancy than their parents for the first time in one hundred years because of the epidemic of obesity, according to Dr. William Klish, Professor of Pediatrics and Head of Pediatric Gastroenterology at Baylor College of Medicine. Lack of PE at school is a disservice to your child's health. Speak up. Demand that your school offers daily quality physical education. Use PE4life as a resource partner to enhance your school's PE program. A recent study revealed that 81% of teachers and 85% of parents favor requiring students to take physical education every day at every grade level. As parents, you can rally people in your community to get involved by ordering a PE4life Community Action kit video and show it to the PTA, the school board and other community groups. The next step is to invite PE4life to make a presentation to your school leaders, bring a team of people to train at a PE4life Academy, or invite PE4life to do an in-service for your school staff. As your resource partner, PE4life can provide these and many other services to your school as you work to get children more active and healthy.

www.pe4life.org

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Connect with Kids - Parenting DVD's

At Connect with Kids, our single aim is to help parents and educators help children. Each week we gather the freshest information from experts at universities, research organizations, hospitals, child advocacy groups and parents and kids themselves. We present that information in video news and feature stories that are understandable, compelling and useful.

Sue Scheff: Teen Truancy

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate "excused" absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school's handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student's education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent's self-esteem.

Sue Scheff on Kandee G Talk Radio

Sue Scheff talks about Wit's End! and the struggles parents are facing today with their teens. Learn more and list live! http://www.kandeeg.com/

Sue Scheff: Teen Gangs and Cults

As with many adult cults, most Gangs prey on the weak and the child that yearns the need to fit in. With most Gangs as with Teen Cults, they will convince your child that joining "their Gang" will make them a "cool and popular" teen.

In reality, it is a downward spiral that can result in much damage both emotionally and psychically. We have found Teen Gangs and Teen Cults have cleaned up their act, ever so slightly, to disguise themselves to impress the most intelligent of parents. We have witnessed Gang members who will present themselves as the "good kid from the good family."

If you suspect your child is involved in any Gang Activities, please seek local therapy and encourage your child to communicate. This is when the lines of communication need to be wide open. Sometimes this is so hard, and that is when an objective person is always beneficial. Teen Gangs and Teen Cults are to be taken very seriously.

www.helpyourteens.com

Promoting Community Education

By Sue Scheff

One of the most important parts of any community is the local school system, and it’s easy for concerned parents and good citizens to become intimately involved in some important aspects of school decisions. Becoming involved with local schools helps decide the direction of the youth in your community, which is of the upmost importance for the success of any community system.

A simple way to begin your citizen school involvement is by attending school board meetings. School board meetings help decide most of the important aspects of a school’s future, including school curriculum, dress code policy, disciplinary measures, budgeting, hiring teachers, new school buildings, and a variety of other things. This is one the best ways to be a part of local school decision making, and if your school board is elected it allows you to vote on school board members while understanding the types of administrative issues that my affecting your kid. At the very least, attending school board meetings provides you with a better understanding of how to be a productive citizen in both the community and school system.

Many schools also seek volunteer help. This work could include anything from grading papers to providing transportation on school field trips. Most public school systems in this country are overcrowded and underfunded, so any volunteer work is looked upon favorably and can help the schools function better. In the end, maintaining the education of our younger generation is always a major part of a good citizen’s workload.

Another great way to get involved in education is organizing after school programs. Many schools have after school programs that they coordinate with volunteers designed to give kids something productive to do after school. Keeping kids out of trouble after school and stimulating them with meaningful work is an excellent way to promote community involvement and healthy learning. Studies show that kids who participate in afterschool programs and extracurricular activities are much more likely to succeed in school then those who don’t.
http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Sue Scheff - Teen Runaways

If you are currently dealing with a runaway, act immediately. Do not waste any time in utilizing every resource you can to find your child.

The list below details a plan of action and tips for finding help.

Tips For Finding a Runaway

Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child.

Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers including all information about your teen and where they were last seen. Post these flyers everywhere your teen hangs out, as well as anywhere else teenagers in general hang out. Post anywhere they will allow you to.

Immediately contact your local police. It is advised that you actually visit the office with a copy of the flyer as well as a good number of color photos of your teen. Speak clearly and act rationally, but make sure that they understand how serious the situation is.

Contact the local paper in order to run a missing ad. Also, contact any other printed media available in your area; many will be very willing to help.

Contact your local television stations, as well as those in nearby counties. Most stations will be more than happy to run an alert either in the newscast or through the scrolling alert at the bottom of the screen.
Having a teen runaway is very frightening and it can bring you to your “Wits End”. Remain positive and be creative: try to understand why your teen is acting this way, what they are running from and where they might be running. These are times when parents need to seek help for themselves. Don’t be ashamed to reach out to others.

We are all about parents helping parents. Please visit Sue Scheff™’s Parents Universal Resource Experts™ to find support and professional help with your runaway situation.

Teen Suicide

If your teen tells you he or she has been experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or if you think your teen may be feeling suicidal but is not telling you, get help immediately. Do not call your teen’s bluff- take all mentions and threats of suicide seriously. There are many mental health professionals trained to deal with suicidal feelings and suicide specifically in teens, and many pediatricians or family physicians can refer parents to specialists if there is an urgent need for your teen to be treated. Another resource is your local emergency room. If your teen is suicidal, do not leave him or her alone, and do not wait for an appointment to see a doctor or specialist- take your teen immediately to the closest ER, where a psychological evaluation can be performed without an appointment. This can literally be the difference between your teen’s life and death.

Some less obvious signs that your teen may be contemplating suicide include depression, withdrawal from daily activities your teen once enjoyed, dramatic personality shifts, drug or alcohol use, lack of attention to personal hygiene, violent behavior or outbursts, running away, decline in school attendance and grades, and change in sleeping patterns. Also, if your teen has already attempted suicide once before, they may be more likely to try again if adequate treatment was not received following the first attempt.

Other behaviors may include: giving away important personal belongings, statements by your teen that he or she is a “bad person” or that he or she “won’t be a problem for much longer”, or any signs of psychosis, which can include hallucinations or bizarre thoughts. According to NIMH, often times many of these warning signs go without notice by family and friends until it is too late. Further complicating matters, just because your teen is exhibiting any of these signs does not mean he or she is suicidal. This is why it is crucial to keep the lines of communication open between yourself and your teen. There is no better way to predict or decipher suicidal feelings than to simply ask your teen how he or she is feeling.

STOP BULLYING NOW - Why Do Kids Bully?

There are all kinds of reasons why young people bully others, either occasionally or often. Do any of these sound familiar to you?



Because I see others doing it
Because it's what you do if you want to hang out with the right crowd
Because it makes me feel, stronger, smarter, or better than the person I'm bullying
Because it's one of the best ways to keep others from bullying me



Whatever the reason, bullying is something we all need to think about. Whether we've done it ourselves ... or whether friends or other people we know are doing it ... we all need to recognize that bullying has a terrible effect on the lives of young people. It may not be happening to you today, but it could tomorrow. Working together, we can make the lives of young people better.

Learn more at http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=whydoi

Teen Suicide - An Introduction

Suicide is the third most common cause of death amongst adolescents between 15-24 years of age, and the sixth most common cause of death amongst 5-14 year olds. It is estimated that over half of all teens suffering from depression will attempt suicide at least once, and of those teens, roughly seven percent will succeed on the first try. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to the threat of suicide, because in addition to increased stress from school, work and peers, teens are also dealing with hormonal fluctuations that can complicate even the most normal situations.

Because of these social and personal changes, teens are also at higher risk for depression, which can also increase feelings of despair and the desire to commit suicide. In fact, according to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) almost all people who commit suicide suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or substance abuse disorder. Often, teens feel as though they have no other way out of their problems, and may not realize that suicidal thoughts and feelings can be treated. Unfortunately, due to the often volatile relationship between teens and their parents, teens may not be as forthcoming about suicidal feelings as parents would hope. The good news is there are many signs parents can watch for in their teen without necessarily needing their teen to open up to them.

At some point in most teens’ lives, they will experience periods of sadness, worry and/or despair. While it is completely normal for a healthy person to have these types of responses to pain resulting from loss, dismissal, or disillusionment, those with serious (often undiagnosed) mental illnesses often experience much more drastic reactions. Many times these severe reactions will leave the teen in despair, and they may feel that there is no end in sight to their suffering. It is at this point that the teen may lose hope, and with the absence of hope comes more depression and the feeling that suicide is the only solution. It isn’t.

Teen girls are statistically twice as likely as their male counterparts to attempt suicide. They tend to turn to drugs (overdosing) or to cut themselves, while boys are traditionally more successful in their suicide attempts because they utilize more lethal methods such as guns and hanging. This method preference makes boys almost four times more successful in committing suicide.

Studies have borne out that suicide rates rise considerably when teens can access firearms in their home. In fact, nearly 60% of suicides committed in the United States that result in immediate death are accomplished with a gun. This is one crucial reason that any gun kept in a home with teens, even if that teen does not display any outward signs of depression, be stored in a locked compartment away from any ammunition. In fact, the ammunition should be stored in a locked compartment as well, and the keys to both the gun and ammunition compartments should be kept in a different area from where normal, everyday keys are kept. Remember to always keep firearms, ammunition, and the keys to the locks containing them, away from kids.

Unfortunately, teen suicide is not a rare event. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24. This disturbing trend is affecting younger children as well, with suicide rates experiencing dramatic increases in the under-15 age group from 1980 to 1996. Suicide attempts are even more prevalent, though it is difficult to track the exact rates.

www.helpyourteens.com

Sue Scheff: Teens - National Crime Prevention Council

Growing up in the 21st century provides young people with amazing opportunities. We have access to incredible technology that allows us to communicate instantaneously through email and cell phones. We are the healthiest, best-educated generation in history. We volunteer at an even higher rate than adults do. The level of crime that we face is lower than it has been in 30 years. However, crime rates are still too high. The good news is that there are real things we can do about the problems that plague our communities.

Community Works offers us a way to do something about crime and violence. When we participate in the Community Works curriculum, we can work with our friends, other young people, and adult leaders to learn the facts about crime and violence, how we can help prevent crimes, and how we can become involved in service-learning projects that benefit our community.

Visit http://www.ncpc.org/topics/by-audience/teens

HIV Complacency

By Connect with Kids

“The HIV and AIDS education prevention message is not being delivered to youth in a way that motivates them to change behaviors.”

– Edward Gray, Ed.D., commenting on the rise of HIV infection rates among young people

Qaadir has friends who are gay… so does Wesley. But when it comes to HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, many kids don’t seem concerned.

“Most kids my age, they don’t think HIV is a serious problem,” says Wesley, 14.

“There’s medicines for this disease and…for this disease…for that one, and they’re not thinking if they catch this it might be a lifelong thing,” adds 15-year-old Qaadir.

In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, after years of decline, the number of AIDS cases among people ages 15 to 24 has risen 15 percent in the last five years.

“It’s a very alarming trend,” says Dr. Edward Gray, professor of counseling.

As medications have allowed people with HIV to live longer, healthier lives, the image kids have of the virus isn’t someone dying, but instead, someone who appearsto be living a healthy, normal life.

“The story now about AIDS is that it’s a trip to the doctor and it’s medication,” says Gray, “Whereas 20 years ago, the story of AIDS was going to funerals.”

Gray says parents need to help their children understand that the AIDS virus is still incurable and deadly, and that those who live with it face a daily struggle.

“Most people don’t want to take needles, and most people don’t want to be regimented that every three hours they’re popping a dozen pills,” says Gray, “I mean people [with AIDS] take cocktails of pills, it’s not just one thing. And just that kind of burden might grab their attention.”

Qaadir agrees. “I mean, you don’t want to wake up every morning and if you cough have to go to the doctor because you might be, you know, ready to pass out from whatever disease.”

Tips for Parents

Recent reports show that nearly half of high school students are or have been sexually active. Unfortunately, with sexual activity comes an increase in Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). That’s why it is extremely important to talk to your kids about being sexually responsible – before they engage in sex. Consider the following statistics provided by The Alan Guttmacher Institute:

Every year three million sexually active teens – about one-in-four – acquire an STD.
A single act of unprotected sex with an infected partner puts a teenage woman at a one percent risk of acquiring HIV, a 30 percent risk of getting genital herpes, and a 50 percent chance of contracting gonorrhea.

Chlamydia is more common among teens than among older men and women. In some testing situations, 10 to 29 percent of sexually active teenage women and 10 percent of teenage men were found to have Chlamydia.

Teens have higher rates of gonorrhea than sexually active men and women aged 20 to 44.
Talking to your child about sex and sexually transmitted diseases may not be something you look forward to, but it could be the most important step in protecting your child from risky sexual behavior. Studies show that teenagers who feel highly connected to their parents are far more likely to delay sexual activity than their peers. Before approaching this sensitive topic, consider the following tips developed by Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!

Start early – Research shows that younger children seek their parent's advice more than adolescents, who tend to depend more on their friends and the media. Take advantage of the opportunity to talk with your young children about sexual health. Discussing dating, relationships, STDs and HIV can make a lasting impression. And it gives you a chance to provide your children with accurate information that reflects your personal values and principles. The quality of parent-child relationships has an important influence on adolescents' sexual behaviors.
Initiate conversations with your child – Don't wait for your children to ask you about sex, HIV or STDs. Although you can hope that your children come to you with their questions and concerns, it may not happen. Use everyday opportunities to talk about issues related sexual health. For example, news stories, music, television shows or movies are great starters for bringing up health topics. If your family is watching a television show where the teenagers are promiscuous or a teen is pregnant, ask your kids what they thought of the program when it’s over. Ask if they agree with the behavior or decisions of the teenagers in the show. Just a few questions can start a valuable conversation.

Talk WITH your child, not AT your child – Make sure you listen to your children the way you want your children to listen to you. Try to ask questions that will encourage them to share specific information about feelings, decisions and actions. Try to understand exactly what your kids are saying. It is important for your kids to feel that they have been heard. Try not to be judgmental. Let your kids know that you value their opinions, even when they differ from your own.

Create an open environment – Research shows that kids who feel their parents speak openly about sex and listen to them carefully are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, compared to teenagers who do not feel they can talk with their parents about sex. Adolescents who report a sense of connection to their parents, family and school, and who have a higher grade point average, are more likely than other teens to wait to engage in intercourse. Teens who report previous discussions of sexuality with parents are seven times more likely to feel able to communicate with a partner about HIV/AIDS than those who have not had such discussions. An open family environment not only reduces sexual risk-taking behaviors, it also gives teenagers a safe place to ask questions and get accurate information. As parents, be available, honest and attentive. Praise your children for coming to you to talk about sex, which will teach them that you are always available for information or advice.

Be prepared and practice – It isn't necessarily easy to talk about sex with your kids. In fact, it can be extremely difficult for some parents. Don't be afraid to practice. You can practice in front of a mirror, with your spouse or partner, or with friends. Your ability to speak comfortably about sexual health will make your children more comfortable asking questions and discussing sensitive issues.

Be honest: It's okay to say, "I don't know" – When your children trust and value your opinion, they will be more likely to come to you with their questions and concerns. It’s also important to know that you do not need to be a sexual health expert. It's okay if you don't know all the answers to all of your children's questions. It’s okay and honest to say, "I don't know." In fact, if you don't know the answer to a question, you can search for the correct information together.
Communicate your values – In addition to talking to your children about the biological facts of sex, it's important that they also learn that sexual relationships involve emotions, caring and responsibility. Parents need to share their values and principles about sex. Although your children may not adopt these values as their own, they are an important source of information as your children develop their own set of values about sexuality.

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
Campaign for our Children, Inc.

Inhalant Abuse - Learn More

In 2004, the Alliance for Consumer Education launched ITS Inhalant Abuse Prevention Kit at a national press conference at the National Press Club in Washington DC. The kit was successfully tested in 6 pilot states across the country. Currently, ACE’s Inhalant Abuse Prevention Kit is in all 50 states. Furthermore, the Kit is in its third printing due to high demands.

The Kit is intended for presentations to adult audiences. Specifically parents of elementary and middle school children, so they can talk to their children about the dangers and risks associated with Inhalants. We base the program on data from the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Statistics show that parents talking to their kids about drugs decrease the risk of the kids trying a drug.

The Inhalant Abuse Prevention Kit contains 4 components: the Facilitator’s Guide, a FAQ sheet, an interactive PowerPoint presentation, and a “What Every Parent Needs to Know about Inhalant Abuse” brochure. Additionally, there are 4 printable posters for classroom use, presentations, etc.

Visit http://www.inhalant.org/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teenage Depression

Depression Causes

There are many causes of teen depression.

The most common causes are:

Significant life events like the death of a family member or close friend, parents divorce or split, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or moving to a new school/area.
Emotional/Physical neglect, being separated from a nurturer, abuse, damage to self esteem.
Many changes happening too quickly can cause depression. For some teens, any major change at one time can trigger symptoms.
Stress, especially in cases where the teen has little or no emotional support from parents, other family members, or friends.
Past traumatic events or experiences like sexual abuse, general abuse, or other major experiences often harbor deep within a child and emerge in the teen years. Most children are unable to process these types of events when they happen, but of course, they remember them. As they age, the events/experiences become clearer and they gain new understanding.
Changes associated with puberty often cause emotions labeled as depression.
Abuse of drugs or other substances can cause changes in the brainÕs chemistry, in many cases, causing some types of depression.
Some medical conditions such as hypothyroidism are believed to affect hormone and mood balance. Physical pain that is chronic can also trigger depression. In many cases, depression caused by medical conditions disappears when medical attention is sought and treatment occurs.
Depression is a genetic disorder, and teens with family members who have suffered from depression have a higher chance of developing it themselves.

Learn more here.