Source: ADDitude Magazine
John’s mom came to his session in tears. “What can I do about the horrible mood that John is in every day after school?” Children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) often experience emotions more intensely than their peers, and can become overwhelmed by sadness or worry. Depression and anxiety, which are primarily disorders of mood regulation, commonly coexist with the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
Some children need medical intervention to combat depression or anxiety, so it’s important to consult with your child’s doctor. But most children can be taught to regulate their bad moods and ADHD behavior problems with some simple cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques. CBT is a form of therapy that teaches people how to control their moods or behavior by changing their thought patterns. Here are some of the methods I taught John and his parents to help him feel in charge of, rather than controlled by, his “mood monsters”.
Make the moods visible.
Children often experience anxiety as a sense of dread. Maybe your child is terribly afraid of going to her room alone. When you ask why, she answers, “I don’t know.” Ask your child to draw a picture of what her bad feelings look like, and give a form to her anxiety. Having an image of the “monster” makes it easier to fight it off.
Give feelings a name.
Labeling depression, anxiety, or other feelings can make them easier to manage, too. Practice identifying feelings and facial expressions. (Try the “How Are You Feeling Today?” poster at childtherapytoys.com.) Take turns with your child, pointing to faces that look “Mad,” “Excited,” “Sad,” or “Worried,” and describing a time when each of you experienced such a feeling. This exercise reminds kids that grown-ups have different types of feelings, too, and that they learn to master them.
Chase away bad feelings.
Relaxation, breathing techniques, and visual imagery can help kids fight off depression and anxiety. Practice these in the evenings (they’ll also help your child unwind before bedtime). Once he’s mastered a calming technique, he can use it to stop a bad feeling in its tracks.
Relax: Have your child lie down and focus on and relax one body part at a time—hands, arms, chest—until his entire body is calm and anxious feelings have been crowded out.
Breathe: Teach your child to breathe in deeply, count from one to three, then breathe out. As breathing slows, the body becomes more relaxed. If your child focuses on each breath, he won’t be able to focus on the bad thoughts, moving them from the center of his attention.
Visualize: Ask your child to think about happy times or a good feeling. One boy I worked with would imagine himself “being licked by a whole bunch of puppies.” Another child pictured walking through a cool forest. If your child is fearful of a particular situation, such as a test, he should picture himself successfully completing the test.
Practice what you teach.
When children see their parents taking a deep breath or talking about feelings, they adopt such techniques more readily to fight off mood monsters. Help your child learn to calm himself, rather than feed his worry: “I know we can find a way to make this better for you. How should we solve this?” Chances are, your confidence will inspire him to find a solution.
Read more here.
Showing posts with label parenting articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting articles. Show all posts
Friday, January 16, 2009
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Sue Scheff: Parents Universal Resource Experts - Teens on Teens
Vanessa Van Petten, author of You’re Grounded, as well as a great communicator for parents of teens today, created a website - OnTeensToday - which offers a variety of Teen and Parenting Articles, Blogs and great up to date information on today’s generation of adolescents.
Here is a brief introduction:
Welcome Brave Parents
HOORAY! Finally, parenting advice from the kid’s perspective! It’s usually impossible to get more than one-word-answers from us, but here I hope that I, along with my 8 teen writers (age 13-17) can be honest about real issues that teens and pre-teens are dealing with, so parents can actually understand us (well at least a small part of our world)…and we can finally develop better relationships.
As much as I LOVE my freedom, I know that adolescents are often two steps ahead of parental controls and because of this, watched many of my friends make really, really bad decisions. So, we have decided to break open the door to our SECRET, terribly complex world and let you in. Ok, I am exaggerating just a tad, but I do truly believe that *if we help each other stay informed, we can stay safe, supported and become happier adults.*
Visit www.onteenstoday.com and learn more!
Here is a brief introduction:
Welcome Brave Parents
HOORAY! Finally, parenting advice from the kid’s perspective! It’s usually impossible to get more than one-word-answers from us, but here I hope that I, along with my 8 teen writers (age 13-17) can be honest about real issues that teens and pre-teens are dealing with, so parents can actually understand us (well at least a small part of our world)…and we can finally develop better relationships.
As much as I LOVE my freedom, I know that adolescents are often two steps ahead of parental controls and because of this, watched many of my friends make really, really bad decisions. So, we have decided to break open the door to our SECRET, terribly complex world and let you in. Ok, I am exaggerating just a tad, but I do truly believe that *if we help each other stay informed, we can stay safe, supported and become happier adults.*
Visit www.onteenstoday.com and learn more!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Connect with Kids - Parenting DVD's
At Connect with Kids, our single aim is to help parents and educators help children. Each week we gather the freshest information from experts at universities, research organizations, hospitals, child advocacy groups and parents and kids themselves. We present that information in video news and feature stories that are understandable, compelling and useful.
Monday, September 8, 2008
What Is ADHD? Diagnosis and Treatment Information
Source: ADDitude Magazine
An expert on ADHD and learning disabilities talks about the biology behind attention deficit disorder and why it’s sometimes so difficult to diagnose and treat ADHD symptoms in children.
by Larry Silver, M.D.
In my 40 years as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I have treated thousands of youngsters. With some children, I am able to make a quick evaluation about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and outline a course of treatment. With others — more often than I care to admit — I have to tell parents that it’s not clear what is wrong. It’s not that I lack the expertise or diagnostic skills. It’s just that psychiatry isn’t quite as far along as other medical specialties.
A pediatrician can do a throat culture and tell at once whether a child needs an antibiotic; appropriate treatment follows the diagnosis. In contrast, psychiatrists are often required to initiate a specific treatment and worry about clarifying the diagnosis later on. As I often tell parents, we must “put out the fire and blow the smoke away” before we can figure out what started the fire.
If a child is having problems in school, he may have attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), but it’s also possible that he has a learning disability. Or depression. Or anxiety. Sometimes what looks like ADHD is the result of family tensions.
If ADHD seems to be even a part of such a “mixed clinical picture,” I typically prescribe medication. If this solves the problem, terrific. But in many cases, another intervention is needed to address persistent academic, emotional, or family problems. Only weeks or months after treatment has been initiated will the full clinical picture become clear.
I understand parents’ concern about medicating their children. My clinical knowledge notwithstanding, I agonized over whether my granddaughter, who has ADHD, should be on meds. (Ultimately, we decided she should.) I have found, however, that parents often feel better about ADHD meds when they understand a bit about neurotransmitters, the remarkable compounds that govern brain function.
How neurotransmitters work
Before I tell you about these special brain chemicals, let me explain a bit about brain anatomy.
There are millions of cells, or neurons, densely packed into various regions of the brain. Each region is responsible for a particular function. Some regions interact with our outside world, interpreting vision, hearing, and other sensory inputs to help us figure out what to do and say. Other regions interact with our internal world — our body — in order to regulate the function of our organs.
For the various regions to do their jobs, they must be linked to one another with extensive “wiring.” Of course, there aren’t really wires in the brain. Rather, there are myriad “pathways,” or neural circuits, that carry information from one brain region to another.
Information is transmitted along these pathways via the action of neurotransmitters (scientists have identified 50 different ones, and there may be as many as 200). Each neuron produces tiny quantities of a specific neurotransmitter, which is released into the microscopic space that exists between neurons (called a synapse), stimulating the next cell in the pathway — and no others.
How does a specific neurotransmitter know precisely which neuron to attach to, when there are so many other neurons nearby? Each neurotransmitter has a unique molecular structure — a “key,” if you will — that is able to attach only to a neuron with the corresponding receptor site, or “lock.” When the key finds the neuron bearing the right lock, the neurotransmitter binds to and stimulates that neuron.
Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1572.html
An expert on ADHD and learning disabilities talks about the biology behind attention deficit disorder and why it’s sometimes so difficult to diagnose and treat ADHD symptoms in children.
by Larry Silver, M.D.
In my 40 years as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I have treated thousands of youngsters. With some children, I am able to make a quick evaluation about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and outline a course of treatment. With others — more often than I care to admit — I have to tell parents that it’s not clear what is wrong. It’s not that I lack the expertise or diagnostic skills. It’s just that psychiatry isn’t quite as far along as other medical specialties.
A pediatrician can do a throat culture and tell at once whether a child needs an antibiotic; appropriate treatment follows the diagnosis. In contrast, psychiatrists are often required to initiate a specific treatment and worry about clarifying the diagnosis later on. As I often tell parents, we must “put out the fire and blow the smoke away” before we can figure out what started the fire.
If a child is having problems in school, he may have attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), but it’s also possible that he has a learning disability. Or depression. Or anxiety. Sometimes what looks like ADHD is the result of family tensions.
If ADHD seems to be even a part of such a “mixed clinical picture,” I typically prescribe medication. If this solves the problem, terrific. But in many cases, another intervention is needed to address persistent academic, emotional, or family problems. Only weeks or months after treatment has been initiated will the full clinical picture become clear.
I understand parents’ concern about medicating their children. My clinical knowledge notwithstanding, I agonized over whether my granddaughter, who has ADHD, should be on meds. (Ultimately, we decided she should.) I have found, however, that parents often feel better about ADHD meds when they understand a bit about neurotransmitters, the remarkable compounds that govern brain function.
How neurotransmitters work
Before I tell you about these special brain chemicals, let me explain a bit about brain anatomy.
There are millions of cells, or neurons, densely packed into various regions of the brain. Each region is responsible for a particular function. Some regions interact with our outside world, interpreting vision, hearing, and other sensory inputs to help us figure out what to do and say. Other regions interact with our internal world — our body — in order to regulate the function of our organs.
For the various regions to do their jobs, they must be linked to one another with extensive “wiring.” Of course, there aren’t really wires in the brain. Rather, there are myriad “pathways,” or neural circuits, that carry information from one brain region to another.
Information is transmitted along these pathways via the action of neurotransmitters (scientists have identified 50 different ones, and there may be as many as 200). Each neuron produces tiny quantities of a specific neurotransmitter, which is released into the microscopic space that exists between neurons (called a synapse), stimulating the next cell in the pathway — and no others.
How does a specific neurotransmitter know precisely which neuron to attach to, when there are so many other neurons nearby? Each neurotransmitter has a unique molecular structure — a “key,” if you will — that is able to attach only to a neuron with the corresponding receptor site, or “lock.” When the key finds the neuron bearing the right lock, the neurotransmitter binds to and stimulates that neuron.
Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1572.html
Thursday, July 17, 2008
HIV Complacency
“The HIV and AIDS education prevention message is not being delivered to youth in a way that motivates them to change behaviors.”
– Edward Gray, Ed.D., commenting on the rise of HIV infection rates among young people
Qaadir has friends who are gay… so does Wesley. But when it comes to HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, many kids don’t seem concerned.
“Most kids my age, they don’t think HIV is a serious problem,” says Wesley, 14.
“There’s medicines for this disease and…for this disease…for that one, and they’re not thinking if they catch this it might be a lifelong thing,” adds 15-year-old Qaadir.
In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, after years of decline, the number of AIDS cases among people ages 15 to 24 has risen 15 percent in the last five years.
“It’s a very alarming trend,” says Dr. Edward Gray, professor of counseling.
As medications have allowed people with HIV to live longer, healthier lives, the image kids have of the virus isn’t someone dying, but instead, someone who appearsto be living a healthy, normal life.
“The story now about AIDS is that it’s a trip to the doctor and it’s medication,” says Gray, “Whereas 20 years ago, the story of AIDS was going to funerals.”
Gray says parents need to help their children understand that the AIDS virus is still incurable and deadly, and that those who live with it face a daily struggle.
“Most people don’t want to take needles, and most people don’t want to be regimented that every three hours they’re popping a dozen pills,” says Gray, “I mean people [with AIDS] take cocktails of pills, it’s not just one thing. And just that kind of burden might grab their attention.”
Qaadir agrees. “I mean, you don’t want to wake up every morning and if you cough have to go to the doctor because you might be, you know, ready to pass out from whatever disease.”
Tips for Parents
– Edward Gray, Ed.D., commenting on the rise of HIV infection rates among young people
Qaadir has friends who are gay… so does Wesley. But when it comes to HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, many kids don’t seem concerned.
“Most kids my age, they don’t think HIV is a serious problem,” says Wesley, 14.
“There’s medicines for this disease and…for this disease…for that one, and they’re not thinking if they catch this it might be a lifelong thing,” adds 15-year-old Qaadir.
In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, after years of decline, the number of AIDS cases among people ages 15 to 24 has risen 15 percent in the last five years.
“It’s a very alarming trend,” says Dr. Edward Gray, professor of counseling.
As medications have allowed people with HIV to live longer, healthier lives, the image kids have of the virus isn’t someone dying, but instead, someone who appearsto be living a healthy, normal life.
“The story now about AIDS is that it’s a trip to the doctor and it’s medication,” says Gray, “Whereas 20 years ago, the story of AIDS was going to funerals.”
Gray says parents need to help their children understand that the AIDS virus is still incurable and deadly, and that those who live with it face a daily struggle.
“Most people don’t want to take needles, and most people don’t want to be regimented that every three hours they’re popping a dozen pills,” says Gray, “I mean people [with AIDS] take cocktails of pills, it’s not just one thing. And just that kind of burden might grab their attention.”
Qaadir agrees. “I mean, you don’t want to wake up every morning and if you cough have to go to the doctor because you might be, you know, ready to pass out from whatever disease.”
Tips for Parents
Recent reports show that nearly half of high school students are or have been sexually active. Unfortunately, with sexual activity comes an increase in Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). That’s why it is extremely important to talk to your kids about being sexually responsible – before they engage in sex. Consider the following statistics provided by The Alan Guttmacher Institute:
Every year three million sexually active teens – about one-in-four – acquire an STD.
A single act of unprotected sex with an infected partner puts a teenage woman at a one percent risk of acquiring HIV, a 30 percent risk of getting genital herpes, and a 50 percent chance of contracting gonorrhea.
Chlamydia is more common among teens than among older men and women. In some testing situations, 10 to 29 percent of sexually active teenage women and 10 percent of teenage men were found to have Chlamydia.
Teens have higher rates of gonorrhea than sexually active men and women aged 20 to 44.
Talking to your child about sex and sexually transmitted diseases may not be something you look forward to, but it could be the most important step in protecting your child from risky sexual behavior. Studies show that teenagers who feel highly connected to their parents are far more likely to delay sexual activity than their peers. Before approaching this sensitive topic, consider the following tips developed by Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!
Start early – Research shows that younger children seek their parent's advice more than adolescents, who tend to depend more on their friends and the media. Take advantage of the opportunity to talk with your young children about sexual health. Discussing dating, relationships, STDs and HIV can make a lasting impression. And it gives you a chance to provide your children with accurate information that reflects your personal values and principles. The quality of parent-child relationships has an important influence on adolescents' sexual behaviors.
Initiate conversations with your child – Don't wait for your children to ask you about sex, HIV or STDs. Although you can hope that your children come to you with their questions and concerns, it may not happen. Use everyday opportunities to talk about issues related sexual health. For example, news stories, music, television shows or movies are great starters for bringing up health topics. If your family is watching a television show where the teenagers are promiscuous or a teen is pregnant, ask your kids what they thought of the program when it’s over. Ask if they agree with the behavior or decisions of the teenagers in the show. Just a few questions can start a valuable conversation.
Talk WITH your child, not AT your child – Make sure you listen to your children the way you want your children to listen to you. Try to ask questions that will encourage them to share specific information about feelings, decisions and actions. Try to understand exactly what your kids are saying. It is important for your kids to feel that they have been heard. Try not to be judgmental. Let your kids know that you value their opinions, even when they differ from your own.
Create an open environment – Research shows that kids who feel their parents speak openly about sex and listen to them carefully are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, compared to teenagers who do not feel they can talk with their parents about sex. Adolescents who report a sense of connection to their parents, family and school, and who have a higher grade point average, are more likely than other teens to wait to engage in intercourse. Teens who report previous discussions of sexuality with parents are seven times more likely to feel able to communicate with a partner about HIV/AIDS than those who have not had such discussions. An open family environment not only reduces sexual risk-taking behaviors, it also gives teenagers a safe place to ask questions and get accurate information. As parents, be available, honest and attentive. Praise your children for coming to you to talk about sex, which will teach them that you are always available for information or advice.
Be prepared and practice – It isn't necessarily easy to talk about sex with your kids. In fact, it can be extremely difficult for some parents. Don't be afraid to practice. You can practice in front of a mirror, with your spouse or partner, or with friends. Your ability to speak comfortably about sexual health will make your children more comfortable asking questions and discussing sensitive issues.
Be honest: It's okay to say, "I don't know" – When your children trust and value your opinion, they will be more likely to come to you with their questions and concerns. It’s also important to know that you do not need to be a sexual health expert. It's okay if you don't know all the answers to all of your children's questions. It’s okay and honest to say, "I don't know." In fact, if you don't know the answer to a question, you can search for the correct information together.
Communicate your values – In addition to talking to your children about the biological facts of sex, it's important that they also learn that sexual relationships involve emotions, caring and responsibility. Parents need to share their values and principles about sex. Although your children may not adopt these values as their own, they are an important source of information as your children develop their own set of values about sexuality.
References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
Campaign for our Children, Inc.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sue Scheff: Parenting Tips
Sue Scheff – Founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts
Offers 10 Parenting Tips
http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/
1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.
2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.
3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.
4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.
5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild www.reputationdefender.com/mychild to further help protect their children online.
6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes or places where they are giving to others. It can truly build self esteem to help others.
7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.
8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.
9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! http://www.witsendbook.com/ for more information.
10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.
Offers 10 Parenting Tips
http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/
1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.
2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.
3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.
4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.
5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild www.reputationdefender.com/mychild to further help protect their children online.
6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes or places where they are giving to others. It can truly build self esteem to help others.
7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.
8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.
9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! http://www.witsendbook.com/ for more information.
10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Standing Up for Your Child's Educational Rights
Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.
In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.
“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Sue Scheff: ADHD Medication at School
If your child takes medication for attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), make sure it's administered on schedule and that it's working as intended. Along with the doctor, the classroom teacher and school nurse can be valuable allies in this effort. Include the following steps in your medication plan.
Make sure your child's symptoms are "covered" whenever necessary.Consider the possibility that he may need coverage beyond school hours—so that he can complete homework assignments and enjoy after-school activities and social relationships.Remember that the duration listed on a medication's package materials is only an approximation. A four-hour tablet might control symptoms for as few as three hours—or as many as five. A 12-hour form might last only 10 hours.
Read entire article here: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1035.html
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Hand in Hand Parenting
Hand in Hand (formerly Parents Leadership Institute) helps parents acquire the skills they need to build and rebuild close connections with their children. We also encourage parents to build close connections with other parents, so they are able to learn and share with others, and work together to build a healthier community.
Visit www.handinhandparenting.org
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) How to Hang with Your Teen
By Shoulder to Shoulder
Ok, we know it may seem like an oxymoron: parents and teens having fun together? It has been known to happen. Whether its family activities, time just for you and your teen, special events and trips or just the every day activities around the house, find ways to create fun and connections with teens.
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS:
Read the same book and then talk about it.
Take a class together. Try dog obedience or cooking classes.
Go out for lunch to celebrate the beginning of the school year.
Celebrate half birthdays with a special family meal.
Share a subscription to a favorite teen magazine and talk about one article.
Cook a special meal together for someone who is ill.
Go to a music store and listen to their favorite CDs. Then have them listen to our music. (Ignore the groans.)
Take your teen to work with you.
Build something together.
Take a trip by car and visit places that were special to you when you were your teen’s age.
Go for a bike ride with one of their friends and the friend’s parent.
Have a favorite “breakfast diner” and eat there once a month.
Schedule your lunch hour during your teen’s lunch break - check them out of school and take your teen to lunch.
Ask your teen for suggestions.
Ok, we know it may seem like an oxymoron: parents and teens having fun together? It has been known to happen. Whether its family activities, time just for you and your teen, special events and trips or just the every day activities around the house, find ways to create fun and connections with teens.
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS:
Read the same book and then talk about it.
Take a class together. Try dog obedience or cooking classes.
Go out for lunch to celebrate the beginning of the school year.
Celebrate half birthdays with a special family meal.
Share a subscription to a favorite teen magazine and talk about one article.
Cook a special meal together for someone who is ill.
Go to a music store and listen to their favorite CDs. Then have them listen to our music. (Ignore the groans.)
Take your teen to work with you.
Build something together.
Take a trip by car and visit places that were special to you when you were your teen’s age.
Go for a bike ride with one of their friends and the friend’s parent.
Have a favorite “breakfast diner” and eat there once a month.
Schedule your lunch hour during your teen’s lunch break - check them out of school and take your teen to lunch.
Ask your teen for suggestions.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Sue Scheff: Internet Predators Target Teens with Depression
By Johanna Curtis
Internet Predators Target Teens with Depression, Acne and Mental Illness
Bipolar, Acne, Depression, Chronic Illness? Your Teen May be More Vulnerable
Net predators mostly target vulnerable teens. Find out which teens are most vulnerable and how to protect them. Acne, depression, bipolar put teens at risk.
It’s not our youngest children, but our teens that are most at risk from internet predators. So say Janis Wolak, JD, David Finkelhor, PhD, Kimberly Mitchell, PhD and Michele Ybarra, PhD, at the Crimes against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire. In a study entitled “Online Predators and Their Victims: Myths, Realties and Implications” published in the February/March 2008 issue of American Psychologist, the researchers reveal that it’s vulnerable teens rather than younger children who are the targets of predatory adults. The journal is published by the American Psychological Association (APA).
In opposition to popular opinion, adult predators are not posing as teens to attract very young children and they don’t generally abduct or rape children. Instead the study showed that most predators didn’t hide their adult status, only their motivations, and that teens in particular are their intended victims.
In these scenarios they attempted to gain the trust of a vulnerable teen and then seduced them into sexually motivated relationships or meetings.
A considerable amount of time may be spent courting these teens who are often from difficult family backgrounds or vulnerable circumstances. Any teen might be vulnerable but teens with chronic illness, teenage acne, physical disability, bipolar disorder, depression, body image concerns and eating disorders are at particular risk.
These are just a few examples of the kinds of teens who may easily be lured into the web of an online predator. Since the predator may grow to know the teen very well and spend plenty of time talking to them, the teen is often a willing participant in the sexual encounter, seeing it as a blur of romance, acceptance or sexual awakening.
Often the teens have been victims of sexual or physical abuse, marital discord and health problems. Teens also tend to be prone to risk taking in both real life and virtual settings.
One teen was lured into an encounter when he identified with the predator’s fabricated struggle to find the best treatment for adult acne. In this case the teen was looking for advice on treating acne and he found it in this particular online predator.
This endeared the man to him and set the stage for a later sexual encounter. Thus it is possible that your teen starts out sharing a home recipe for back acne treatment and ends up in a scary situation!
In short- teens with low self esteem, body image, emotional and family problems that enjoy the thrill of taking risks are exactly they type of child that an online predator is hoping to find.
Three surveys were conducted by the researchers-two took the form of telephone interviews with 3000 internet users aged ten to seventeen (200o and 2005) and in the other 612 interviews were held with federal, state and local law enforcement officials in the United States (October 2001- July 2002).
The researchers emphasized the importance of the study: “To prevent these crimes, we need accurate information about their true dynamics," said Janis Wolak.
“The things that we hear and fear and the things that actually occur may not be the same. The newness of the environment makes it hard to see where the danger is."
Also important was the finding that social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace did not aggravate predator abuse. Instead teens who spent time talking online to strangers particularly about sexual topics were placed in the highest risk categories. "Most Internet-initiated sex crimes involve adult men who are open about their interest in sex," Wolak said. "The offenders use instant messages, e-mail and chat rooms to meet and develop intimate relationships with their victims. In most of the cases, the victims are aware that they are talking online with adults." "A majority of the offenders are charged with crimes such as statutory rape, that involve non-forcible sexual activity with adolescent victims who are too young to consent to sexual intercourse with adults," she said.
When children are discouraged from sharing personal details and being deceived online it does little to deter these problems the study revealed. Adults keeping constant tabs on internet activities did not prove to be the answer either.
Instead it is suggested by the researchers that parents should spend time teaching teens about the risks associated with certain types of behavior.
This means that parents should be having open and honest discussions about romantic or sexual relationships/encounters with an adult. The risks and patterns inherent in online relationships should be pointed out to the teen without making him/her feel judged. Unfortunately this is often easier said than done.
These families often have considerable communication difficulties already and the teens may not feel respectful or trusting towards their parent or caregiver. In this case other sources could be found that could help provide information to the teen.
The study also revealed that adults do not pretend to be teens very often (5% of crimes committed involved an adult impersonating a teen). Seventy-five percent of victims who met a predator did so on more than a single occasion.
Predators are not usually violent and do not generally force their victims into sexual behavior, instead they attempt to court them into making the decision for themselves. In the mind of the predator this relieves them of some of the responsbility for their crimes. He/she does not seem to consider the naivete or inexperience of the average teen.
It also appears that teens who have been involved in risky online activities reveal that they have received sexual offers over the internet. Risky activities might take the form of spending time talking to or e-mailing strangers, talking about sex with strangers or being antagonistic or nasty to people online.
Homosexual teen boys are at special risk say researchers. This is because they are unsure of their sexuality. One quarter of crimes committed involved boys who were gay or questioning their sexuality.
The best thing parents can do is maintain consistent open communication with their teens about their online activities. If a teen seems secretive about his/her online activities then investigate by searching their computer for any e-mails, chats, instant messages or other risky online activities.
Do not feel as though you are breaching your teen’s privacy. Young boys and girls do deserve some private time and activities, but in this case some well-timed “snooping” might save a life so if you feel at all uneasy don’t hesitate to try to uncover your teens internet habits.
The entire article may be found at: http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/amp632111.pdf
Internet Predators Target Teens with Depression, Acne and Mental Illness
Bipolar, Acne, Depression, Chronic Illness? Your Teen May be More Vulnerable
Net predators mostly target vulnerable teens. Find out which teens are most vulnerable and how to protect them. Acne, depression, bipolar put teens at risk.
It’s not our youngest children, but our teens that are most at risk from internet predators. So say Janis Wolak, JD, David Finkelhor, PhD, Kimberly Mitchell, PhD and Michele Ybarra, PhD, at the Crimes against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire. In a study entitled “Online Predators and Their Victims: Myths, Realties and Implications” published in the February/March 2008 issue of American Psychologist, the researchers reveal that it’s vulnerable teens rather than younger children who are the targets of predatory adults. The journal is published by the American Psychological Association (APA).
In opposition to popular opinion, adult predators are not posing as teens to attract very young children and they don’t generally abduct or rape children. Instead the study showed that most predators didn’t hide their adult status, only their motivations, and that teens in particular are their intended victims.
In these scenarios they attempted to gain the trust of a vulnerable teen and then seduced them into sexually motivated relationships or meetings.
A considerable amount of time may be spent courting these teens who are often from difficult family backgrounds or vulnerable circumstances. Any teen might be vulnerable but teens with chronic illness, teenage acne, physical disability, bipolar disorder, depression, body image concerns and eating disorders are at particular risk.
These are just a few examples of the kinds of teens who may easily be lured into the web of an online predator. Since the predator may grow to know the teen very well and spend plenty of time talking to them, the teen is often a willing participant in the sexual encounter, seeing it as a blur of romance, acceptance or sexual awakening.
Often the teens have been victims of sexual or physical abuse, marital discord and health problems. Teens also tend to be prone to risk taking in both real life and virtual settings.
One teen was lured into an encounter when he identified with the predator’s fabricated struggle to find the best treatment for adult acne. In this case the teen was looking for advice on treating acne and he found it in this particular online predator.
This endeared the man to him and set the stage for a later sexual encounter. Thus it is possible that your teen starts out sharing a home recipe for back acne treatment and ends up in a scary situation!
In short- teens with low self esteem, body image, emotional and family problems that enjoy the thrill of taking risks are exactly they type of child that an online predator is hoping to find.
Three surveys were conducted by the researchers-two took the form of telephone interviews with 3000 internet users aged ten to seventeen (200o and 2005) and in the other 612 interviews were held with federal, state and local law enforcement officials in the United States (October 2001- July 2002).
The researchers emphasized the importance of the study: “To prevent these crimes, we need accurate information about their true dynamics," said Janis Wolak.
“The things that we hear and fear and the things that actually occur may not be the same. The newness of the environment makes it hard to see where the danger is."
Also important was the finding that social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace did not aggravate predator abuse. Instead teens who spent time talking online to strangers particularly about sexual topics were placed in the highest risk categories. "Most Internet-initiated sex crimes involve adult men who are open about their interest in sex," Wolak said. "The offenders use instant messages, e-mail and chat rooms to meet and develop intimate relationships with their victims. In most of the cases, the victims are aware that they are talking online with adults." "A majority of the offenders are charged with crimes such as statutory rape, that involve non-forcible sexual activity with adolescent victims who are too young to consent to sexual intercourse with adults," she said.
When children are discouraged from sharing personal details and being deceived online it does little to deter these problems the study revealed. Adults keeping constant tabs on internet activities did not prove to be the answer either.
Instead it is suggested by the researchers that parents should spend time teaching teens about the risks associated with certain types of behavior.
This means that parents should be having open and honest discussions about romantic or sexual relationships/encounters with an adult. The risks and patterns inherent in online relationships should be pointed out to the teen without making him/her feel judged. Unfortunately this is often easier said than done.
These families often have considerable communication difficulties already and the teens may not feel respectful or trusting towards their parent or caregiver. In this case other sources could be found that could help provide information to the teen.
The study also revealed that adults do not pretend to be teens very often (5% of crimes committed involved an adult impersonating a teen). Seventy-five percent of victims who met a predator did so on more than a single occasion.
Predators are not usually violent and do not generally force their victims into sexual behavior, instead they attempt to court them into making the decision for themselves. In the mind of the predator this relieves them of some of the responsbility for their crimes. He/she does not seem to consider the naivete or inexperience of the average teen.
It also appears that teens who have been involved in risky online activities reveal that they have received sexual offers over the internet. Risky activities might take the form of spending time talking to or e-mailing strangers, talking about sex with strangers or being antagonistic or nasty to people online.
Homosexual teen boys are at special risk say researchers. This is because they are unsure of their sexuality. One quarter of crimes committed involved boys who were gay or questioning their sexuality.
The best thing parents can do is maintain consistent open communication with their teens about their online activities. If a teen seems secretive about his/her online activities then investigate by searching their computer for any e-mails, chats, instant messages or other risky online activities.
Do not feel as though you are breaching your teen’s privacy. Young boys and girls do deserve some private time and activities, but in this case some well-timed “snooping” might save a life so if you feel at all uneasy don’t hesitate to try to uncover your teens internet habits.
The entire article may be found at: http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/amp632111.pdf
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) When Your Teen is Caught Shoplifting
By Education.com Patricia Smith
You answer the phone and cringe. Your 14 year-old son walked out of Martin’s Market with a six-pack of Pepsi under his jacket without paying, so says Officer Jones on the other end of the line. Driving to the market to retrieve your son and face Mr. Martin, you wonder, is shoplifting just kid stuff? Or is my son diving headlong into a life of crime?
Take a deep breath. Most likely, this first shoplifting incident doesn’t signal trouble ahead. Even though your son had plenty of change in his pocket and Pepsi in the fridge, doesn’t mean he’s leaving your family to join the Sopranos.
Shoplifting is sometimes viewed as an adolescent rite of passage, albeit an illegal one. The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) reports that 24% of apprehended shoplifters are teens, aged 13-17 years old. Teens steal on an impulse or for a thrill. Peer pressure is often cited as the reason. While you might feel motivated to send your son to the doghouse, even McGruff the Crime Dog, icon of the NCPC, recommends that you don’t overreact to the first offense. That said, do take the following steps to convey your concern to your child:
Decide on the consequences beforehand. One in four shoplifters caught is a teen. Think about how you’d handle things if your child was caught shoplifting. Be sure to share your thoughts with your spouse. It’s important to present a united front if an incident does occur.
Take a deep breath. Most likely, this first shoplifting incident doesn’t signal trouble ahead. Even though your son had plenty of change in his pocket and Pepsi in the fridge, doesn’t mean he’s leaving your family to join the Sopranos.
Shoplifting is sometimes viewed as an adolescent rite of passage, albeit an illegal one. The National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC) reports that 24% of apprehended shoplifters are teens, aged 13-17 years old. Teens steal on an impulse or for a thrill. Peer pressure is often cited as the reason. While you might feel motivated to send your son to the doghouse, even McGruff the Crime Dog, icon of the NCPC, recommends that you don’t overreact to the first offense. That said, do take the following steps to convey your concern to your child:
Decide on the consequences beforehand. One in four shoplifters caught is a teen. Think about how you’d handle things if your child was caught shoplifting. Be sure to share your thoughts with your spouse. It’s important to present a united front if an incident does occur.
Remain calm at the scene of the crime. Confronting your child will only add to the humiliation and embarrassment he is probably feeling. Get all the facts. Listen to the authorities and agree to take an active role in the solution.
Allow a cooling off period. Best not to unload on your son the minute you reach your driveway.
Take time, at least a day, to let everyone cool off before discussing the incident. Present corrective action in a timely manner. Lay out the consequences to your son as soon as possible.
If too much time passes, the consequences won’t connect to the action. Be firm, but caring.
Follow through. Important life lessons will be lost if you don’t follow through on your disciplinary actions. Keep your word.
Shoplifting is a serious offense, but most teens are experimenting when they try it—never believing they’ll get caught. When they are, they feel remorse and seldom repeat the offense. So take those sticky fingers seriously, but know that you probably don’t have a future mobster on your hands—just a child who needs help learning from his mistakes.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Sue Scheff: What will Your Kids Be Doing this Summer?
By Connect with Kids
“Most people, I guess, don’t really spend their summers doing academic things.”
– Margaret Coy, a student
Many teens spend their summer vacation days playing – and working – without ever opening a book.
But not Zach Wilson and Margaret Coy: They take college preparatory classes during their school break.
“Most people, I guess, don’t really spend their summers doing academic things. Some people look at me like I’m kind of crazy for it, but I’ve enjoyed it,” Margaret says.
“I want to keep going [to school] in the summer so I can get done a lot faster and go to law school,” Zach adds.
Zach’s and Margaret’s academic habits are more in line with students around the world. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, students in Taiwan spend 10 additional weeks in school compared to U.S. students. Students in Canada, Spain and Scotland attend classes two weeks longer than their American counterparts. And experts say that in matters of education, quantity matters.
“It’s particularly true in the mathematics and science areas that the United States does not tend to do as well as students from other nations when you compare their abilities,” says Dianne Weber, admissions director at Georgia State University.
One problem, Weber says, is that all summer long teens don’t exercise their brains. One way to counteract this effect is to take a class.
“So I think the idea is, keep your child’s mind active during the summer … not just going to the swimming pool, not just watching television, but really being involved in some cultural experiences or reading experiences,” Weber says.
Still, experts say that kids shouldn’t spend all of their free time hitting the books because they run the risk of experiencing too much stress.
“The student could get burned out earlier than they need to be,” Weber says.
Margaret knows how to keep her life balanced with study and play. She is a member of the dance team, Spanish club and cross-country team, but she also leaves time for “just the regular things – hanging out with my friends and maintaining a social life,” she says.
Tips for Parents
Teens Seek Learning Enhancement
While many students nationwide are enjoying the school-free days of summer, some are choosing to spend the next few months trying to get an early jump on the next academic year.
More and more students are trading sleep away camps this summer for precollege courses. Programs offered by universities such as Penn State and UCLA give 15 and 16-year-olds the opportunity to enhance their academic career by spending a month on a college campus, which includes college courses and SAT prep classes.
These students are seeking new ways to enhance their learning, which they say lags behind other countries. In fact, the U.S. Department of Education says that American students only spend an average of 178 days in school vs. countries like China (251), Israel (215) and Italy (204).
And data from the Third International Mathematics and Science Study (TIMSS) reveals evidence that the quality of U.S. instruction in mathematics may lag behind that of other countries.
A program initiated in Massachusetts in 2006 to extend the school day has proven that more time in school improves grades. Students in the program have had greater gains in state reading and math tests than peers in schools with traditional schedules.
How can parents help enhance their children’s learning, especially during the summer break? The National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) offers these suggestions:
For Children:
Enrich your child’s experiences by lending personal meaning to school learning. For example, if your child is studying a local Native American group, take him or her to a museum or mission. If he or she is studying marine life, visit the beach to explore the tide pools, or take a trip to an aquarium.
– Margaret Coy, a student
Many teens spend their summer vacation days playing – and working – without ever opening a book.
But not Zach Wilson and Margaret Coy: They take college preparatory classes during their school break.
“Most people, I guess, don’t really spend their summers doing academic things. Some people look at me like I’m kind of crazy for it, but I’ve enjoyed it,” Margaret says.
“I want to keep going [to school] in the summer so I can get done a lot faster and go to law school,” Zach adds.
Zach’s and Margaret’s academic habits are more in line with students around the world. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, students in Taiwan spend 10 additional weeks in school compared to U.S. students. Students in Canada, Spain and Scotland attend classes two weeks longer than their American counterparts. And experts say that in matters of education, quantity matters.
“It’s particularly true in the mathematics and science areas that the United States does not tend to do as well as students from other nations when you compare their abilities,” says Dianne Weber, admissions director at Georgia State University.
One problem, Weber says, is that all summer long teens don’t exercise their brains. One way to counteract this effect is to take a class.
“So I think the idea is, keep your child’s mind active during the summer … not just going to the swimming pool, not just watching television, but really being involved in some cultural experiences or reading experiences,” Weber says.
Still, experts say that kids shouldn’t spend all of their free time hitting the books because they run the risk of experiencing too much stress.
“The student could get burned out earlier than they need to be,” Weber says.
Margaret knows how to keep her life balanced with study and play. She is a member of the dance team, Spanish club and cross-country team, but she also leaves time for “just the regular things – hanging out with my friends and maintaining a social life,” she says.
Tips for Parents
Teens Seek Learning Enhancement
While many students nationwide are enjoying the school-free days of summer, some are choosing to spend the next few months trying to get an early jump on the next academic year.
More and more students are trading sleep away camps this summer for precollege courses. Programs offered by universities such as Penn State and UCLA give 15 and 16-year-olds the opportunity to enhance their academic career by spending a month on a college campus, which includes college courses and SAT prep classes.
These students are seeking new ways to enhance their learning, which they say lags behind other countries. In fact, the U.S. Department of Education says that American students only spend an average of 178 days in school vs. countries like China (251), Israel (215) and Italy (204).
And data from the Third International Mathematics and Science Study (TIMSS) reveals evidence that the quality of U.S. instruction in mathematics may lag behind that of other countries.
A program initiated in Massachusetts in 2006 to extend the school day has proven that more time in school improves grades. Students in the program have had greater gains in state reading and math tests than peers in schools with traditional schedules.
How can parents help enhance their children’s learning, especially during the summer break? The National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) offers these suggestions:
For Children:
Enrich your child’s experiences by lending personal meaning to school learning. For example, if your child is studying a local Native American group, take him or her to a museum or mission. If he or she is studying marine life, visit the beach to explore the tide pools, or take a trip to an aquarium.
Recognize that everyday experience enhances school learning, too. You may not realize it, but those trips to the park, to a city and to a relative’s house, and the pet turtle or fish your child has in his or her room, all help your child relate to what he or she reads and learns.
Read to or with your child every day.
Show that you enjoy reading. Let your child see you reading books, magazines, newspapers, school notices and other written materials.
Use your public library and discover its resources with your child.
Use your television as a teaching tool. Watch insightful programs with your child, and talk about what you are viewing.
Share some of your new knowledge with your child. Let him or her see how learning continues throughout a lifetime.
Enroll your child in a day camp. Most camps offer a wide variety of activities that will stimulate your child’s mind and teach him or her new skills that he or she can apply to tasks during the school year.
For Teens:
Share personal stories with your teen. The possibilities are endless. You can share stories about your childhood or even tell your teen about his or her birth. The stories you share can give your teen a sense of connectedness with the past.
Provide your teen with the opportunity to try distance learning. Several online programs focusing on a variety of educational topics exist.
Involve your teen in independent reading and study. Independent reading and study will help your teen to prepare academically for college. This is a good way to develop interests, expand knowledge and improve the vocabulary and reading comprehension skills needed for college and the SAT or ACT.
Encourage extracurricular activities. Many school, community and religious organizations enable high school students to explore their interests and talents by providing activities outside the classroom. Colleges are often interested in a student’s extracurricular activities, such as school clubs, the student newspaper, athletics, musical activities and arts and drama, especially if a student has excelled in one or more of these areas.
Challenge your teen to obtain a job or volunteer for community service. Work experience – paid or volunteer – can teach teens discipline, responsibility, reliability, teamwork and other skills. A summer job may be a good way to gain experience and earn money for college as well. Activities, such as tutoring children in the community or volunteering at the local hospital, make valuable contributions to society and also help students to identify their career interests and goals, gain workplace skills and apply classroom learning to real-world problem solving.
While summer vacation provides an excellent time for your child to enhance his or her learning, make sure that your child – a teen in particular – is not embarking on the road to school burnout. If you do notice that stress is affecting your child’s health, behavior, thoughts or feelings, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests these methods for decreasing your child’s stress levels:
Make sure your child exercises and eats regularly.
Teach your child relaxation exercises, such as abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation techniques.
Help your child develop practical coping skills. For example, teach him or her to break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.
Make sure your child takes a break from studying. Activities like listening to music, talking to a friend, drawing, writing or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.
Encourage your child to build a network of friends who challenge and support him or her in a positive way.
References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
National Center for Education Statistics
National Parent Teacher Association
U.S. Department of Education
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Getting Your Teen to Talk
By ParentingMyTeen.com
Visit - http://www.parentingmyteen.com/
Depending upon your relationship, getting your teen to talk to you could be an agonizing or enjoyable exchange. If your teen is not communicative or willing to discuss issues, then it is up to you to find ways to get your teen to open up. How? Here are some suggestions.Oftentimes, teens are afraid to discuss a problem head on. Therefore, living in a home that is filled with love and understanding is crucial. While one teen may find it easier to talk to Mom and another feels more comfortable talking with Dad, the conditions in the home are critical to the teen being able to talk about anything at anytime. This process begins at birth. Having conversations with each other is one way to instill a sense of openness in the home. Moms and dads who constantly talk to each other and their children, whether at the dinner table or during bedtime, allow the child to feel good about discussing any topic with one or both parents. Consequently, your child will grow up in an atmosphere where freedom of expression is not only expected but encouraged.
Teenagers come with their own set of problems and issues. It’s the natural course of events for teens. This does not mean, however, they must sit in their rooms contemplating situations which they are neither ready for, nor can handle. Keeping the lines of communication open may be difficult at times, especially if all you get out of your teenager is a grunt of acknowledgement. Don’t give up, no matter how difficult the situation becomes. Whether your teen will admit it or not, having you there allows them to feel safe and secure, even though they don’t show it.
You can be assured, however, when the time is right and when the teen feels there are no other options available, he or she will open up. This is the point at which you should listen carefully to what is being offered. While your teen may not be asking your advice, the ability to be able to say what is on his or her mind may be enough to get out of the funk he or she is in.
However, if you feel your teen has become so distant that nothing seems to work, it may be time to seek help. In the meantime, without being invasive, keep an eye on your teen, ensure he or she is eating and sleeping, and communicating with friends. Every teen is different in how they approach life’s ups and downs. Think back to when you were a teen. Were you as open with your parents as you’d like your teen to be? If not, perhaps the inability to talk openly amongst family members began then.
As parents, we have a lot to deal with in our own lives. Sometimes even we shut down due to the pressure. Getting your teen to talk to you may be just as hard as getting your spouse to talk to you. It is in talking that we let out our innermost thoughts and feelings. Perhaps by learning how to talk to each other, you will instill confidence in your teen to follow your lead.
www.helpyourteens.com
www.witsendbook.com
Visit - http://www.parentingmyteen.com/
Depending upon your relationship, getting your teen to talk to you could be an agonizing or enjoyable exchange. If your teen is not communicative or willing to discuss issues, then it is up to you to find ways to get your teen to open up. How? Here are some suggestions.Oftentimes, teens are afraid to discuss a problem head on. Therefore, living in a home that is filled with love and understanding is crucial. While one teen may find it easier to talk to Mom and another feels more comfortable talking with Dad, the conditions in the home are critical to the teen being able to talk about anything at anytime. This process begins at birth. Having conversations with each other is one way to instill a sense of openness in the home. Moms and dads who constantly talk to each other and their children, whether at the dinner table or during bedtime, allow the child to feel good about discussing any topic with one or both parents. Consequently, your child will grow up in an atmosphere where freedom of expression is not only expected but encouraged.
Teenagers come with their own set of problems and issues. It’s the natural course of events for teens. This does not mean, however, they must sit in their rooms contemplating situations which they are neither ready for, nor can handle. Keeping the lines of communication open may be difficult at times, especially if all you get out of your teenager is a grunt of acknowledgement. Don’t give up, no matter how difficult the situation becomes. Whether your teen will admit it or not, having you there allows them to feel safe and secure, even though they don’t show it.
You can be assured, however, when the time is right and when the teen feels there are no other options available, he or she will open up. This is the point at which you should listen carefully to what is being offered. While your teen may not be asking your advice, the ability to be able to say what is on his or her mind may be enough to get out of the funk he or she is in.
However, if you feel your teen has become so distant that nothing seems to work, it may be time to seek help. In the meantime, without being invasive, keep an eye on your teen, ensure he or she is eating and sleeping, and communicating with friends. Every teen is different in how they approach life’s ups and downs. Think back to when you were a teen. Were you as open with your parents as you’d like your teen to be? If not, perhaps the inability to talk openly amongst family members began then.
As parents, we have a lot to deal with in our own lives. Sometimes even we shut down due to the pressure. Getting your teen to talk to you may be just as hard as getting your spouse to talk to you. It is in talking that we let out our innermost thoughts and feelings. Perhaps by learning how to talk to each other, you will instill confidence in your teen to follow your lead.
www.helpyourteens.com
www.witsendbook.com
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse- WARNING SIGNS
Inhalant Abuse is a lesser-known form of substance abuse, but is no less dangerous than other forms.The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service has reported that more than 2.1 million children in America experiment with some form of an inhalant each year and the Centers for Disease Control lists inhalants as second only to marijuana for illicit drug use among youth.
However, parents aren't talking to their children about this deadly issue. According to the Alliance for Consumer Education's research study, Inhalant Abuse falls behind alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use by nearly 50% in terms of parental knowledge and concern. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that 18 percent of all eighth graders have used inhalants, but nine out of 10 parents are unaware or deny that their children have abused inhalants. Many parents are not aware that inhalant users can die the first time they try Inhalants.
Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is caused in one of two ways. First, Inhalants force the heart to beat rapidly and erratically until the user goes into cardiac arrest. Second, the fumes from an Inhalant enter a user's lungs and central nervous system. By lowering oxygen levels enough, the user is unable to breathe and suffocates. Regular abuse of these substances can result in serious harm to vital organs including the brain, heart, kidneys and liver.
Even if the user doesn't die, Inhalants can still affect the body. Most Inhalants produce a rapid high that resembles alcohol intoxication with initial excitement, then drowsiness, disinhibition, lightheadedness and agitation. Short-term effects include headache, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe mood swings and violent behavior, slurred speech, numbness and tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, limb spasms, fatigue, and lack of coordination. Long- term effects include central nervous system or brain damage. Serious effects include damage to the liver, heart, kidneys, blood oxygen level depletion, unconsciousness and death.
Studies show that strong parental involvement in a child's life makes the child less likely to use Inhalants. Know the warning signs or behavior patterns to watch for and take the time to educate yourself about the issue so that you can talk to your children about inhalants.
Click here for entire article and warning signs http://www.inhalant.org/inhalant/warnings.php
www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com
However, parents aren't talking to their children about this deadly issue. According to the Alliance for Consumer Education's research study, Inhalant Abuse falls behind alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use by nearly 50% in terms of parental knowledge and concern. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that 18 percent of all eighth graders have used inhalants, but nine out of 10 parents are unaware or deny that their children have abused inhalants. Many parents are not aware that inhalant users can die the first time they try Inhalants.
Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is caused in one of two ways. First, Inhalants force the heart to beat rapidly and erratically until the user goes into cardiac arrest. Second, the fumes from an Inhalant enter a user's lungs and central nervous system. By lowering oxygen levels enough, the user is unable to breathe and suffocates. Regular abuse of these substances can result in serious harm to vital organs including the brain, heart, kidneys and liver.
Even if the user doesn't die, Inhalants can still affect the body. Most Inhalants produce a rapid high that resembles alcohol intoxication with initial excitement, then drowsiness, disinhibition, lightheadedness and agitation. Short-term effects include headache, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe mood swings and violent behavior, slurred speech, numbness and tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, limb spasms, fatigue, and lack of coordination. Long- term effects include central nervous system or brain damage. Serious effects include damage to the liver, heart, kidneys, blood oxygen level depletion, unconsciousness and death.
Studies show that strong parental involvement in a child's life makes the child less likely to use Inhalants. Know the warning signs or behavior patterns to watch for and take the time to educate yourself about the issue so that you can talk to your children about inhalants.
Click here for entire article and warning signs http://www.inhalant.org/inhalant/warnings.php
www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) The Truth about TV and ADHD
By ADDitude Magazine
Is watching TV linked to a rise in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? Here's what you should know about the causes of ADHD in children.
If you're like a lot of parents, you've probably used your television as a baby-sitter. Anxious to grab a few moments to fix dinner, straighten up, or take a breather, you've turned to the flashy colors and graphics of SpongeBob or Rugrats to mesmerize your child.
Read the entire article here.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teenage Gambling Addiction
More and more parents are contacting us with this latest trend among teens: Teenage Gambling Addition. Read more at http://www.teenage-gambling-addiction.org/
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sue Scheff (P.U.R.E.) Can Children Outgrow ADHD?
By ADDitude MagazineParents of children with attention deficit disorder often wonder if their kids will stay on ADD drugs for life. A medical expert explains.
I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well.
As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades. After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults.
Click here for entire article.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Education.com
http://www.education.com/ is a website that offers parents a wide variety of information for parent from toddlers to teens!
Check it out and learn more about parenting your individual child.
The Teens Years (13-18)
The Middle Years (6-12)
The Early Years (3-5)
What is education.com?
Education.com is an online resource for parents with kids in preschool through grade 12.On our site you can:
Search over 4,000 reference articles from the best and most authoritative sources across the web. From the NYU Child Study Center to the Autism Society of America, Reading is Fundamental to Stanford University School of Education, our Reference Desk brings the best information from the most trusted universities, professional associations, non-profit institutes, and government agencies together in one place.
Browse our online magazine for hundreds of ideas that take learning beyond the classroom and into your family’s everyday life. We cover topics across the parental spectrum-- from practicing fractions by baking cookies, to how to deal with ADHD, bullying, to navigating the parent-teacher conference.
Explore virtual neighborhoods where parents with similar interests or challenges connect to trade advice and share their experiences with one another—whether it’s about dyslexia or dioramas.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sue Scheff - P.U.R.E. - ADHD Symptom Checklist
Do you have ADD? Use this checklist to understand common ADHD symptoms and test your own behavior before seeking an ADHD diagnosis.
You may have attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) if you notice the following symptoms persisting for at least six months to a degree that is maladaptive and immature. If you suspect that you have ADD or ADHD, contact your medical health-care professional...At least six of the following ADHD symptoms often apply:
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